ChimichangaChimichangaChimichanga

ink-and-roses:

ahumblebard:

doxian:

I want a movie about a little girl, aged like 11-12, going through the struggles of prepubescent girl life, with her entire inner monologue is narrated by Samuel L. Jackson.

Shot of disgruntled adorable little girl.

SLJ: I knew that Susie was a backstabbin’ motherfucker, and if anyone was going to ruin my chances of being Miss Sugar Drop Queen, it was that asshole. 

I didn’t know I needed this in my life until now.

This is never not funny

moocb:

I Broposed to my little brother with a laser engraved whiskey glass!

moocb:

I Broposed to my little brother with a laser engraved whiskey glass!

czarcastic-dog:

nodaybuttodaytodefygravity:

narwhalqueens:

a movie about two asexual aromantic best friends who have a best friend marriage for tax benefits

that does not end with a scene of swelling music and passionate kiss where they realize they really do love each other after all

It ends with a fist bump or something. I’m on board. 

confessionforanothertime:

person: but if you’re asexual AND aromantic, wha DO you like?
me: money

confessionforanothertime:

person: but if you’re asexual AND aromantic, wha DO you like?

me: money

me at 5 years: i wonder when i'll start being useful and contributing to society
me at 10 years: wow i'm in school i'm doing stuff watch out world i'm on my way ha ha ha
me at 15 years: okay just a few years left and i'll be at uni doing important uni things right
me at 20 years: any minute now
me at 2000 years: um

runewynd:

bestquius:

bestquius:

There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.

I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele

image

sherokutakari:

"but women have sex organs on their chests! I don’t walk around with my pants off!"

I think what you mean to say is “women have secondary sex characteristics on their chests”, not sex organs

in which case let me remind you that your facial hair and enlarged adam’s apple are also secondary sex characteristics

if secondary sex characteristics bother you and you feel they should be covered up in public, please feel free to shove your entire head in a bag at any time

please don’t
me when a whole bunch of enemies start attacking me on video games  (via pudingu)